Is this as wrong as going all the way?

I've been seeing an "unavailable" guy for 3 years, on and off. I've tried breaking off this relationship approx. 5 times, but we keep going back to each other. I'm a single mom and very passionate. This time around, I want to wait until marriage before having full fledge s*x. In those 3 years, we kissed passionately, he kissed my breasts and I have him a hand job. Sorry for being so descriptive. But it this as bad as going all the way? I already feel guilty as it is.